**Facebook Post from May, 7th 2018 with some edits**
The time I couldn't renew my drivers license............
*Sigh*
⠀⠀
I’m gonna be vulnerable here.....
⠀⠀
I think today was my punishment for not scheduling an appointment with DMV when I first got my drivers license renewal in the mail.
⠀⠀
Almost 7 hours.
. No food or drinks were allowed inside. I stood the whole time because it was the only spot near a window that I didn’t feel like I was squished up against a person so I didn’t leave my spot. I used my essential oil roll on bottle to keep myself from losing my sanity and having a major meltdown.
⠀⠀
That’s not the worst part- the worst part? Was that I didn’t want ANY of this.
⠀⠀
I was in denial that I wouldn’t be able to renew my drivers license since I quit driving 4 years ago. My license in my wallet made me feel like if it were ever possible to drive again I still could. Almost like a last hope or something I guess? I didn’t want JUST a CA ID. I wanted a DRIVERS LICENSE. Gah. I know I’m throwing a pity party right now but dang. This is not easy for my independent self to deal with. That’s me being real.
When I saw the man in front of me finally get called, I knew I was next. We were “buddies”. Even when we didn’t have a full on conversation, we had a mutual understanding that we were in this for the long haul.
I was pretty proud of myself for holding it together as long as I did. When I got in another line to get my photo taken, the emotions started to come and I just pushed them back. NOPE. Not yet!! My last photo on my drivers license the guy didn’t tell me he was taking the photo so I had this frumpy face and I wanted this ID to have a SMILE 
. So hopefully they captured it this time. I passed by my buddie, smiled, gave him a nod and wished him “Good Luck” (I mean, who doesn’t do that when getting their photo taken? LOL). Hurried outdoors and took a nice deep breath of fresh air. I'M OUT. Then I cried. Cried cuz I was finally done. Cried cuz I was so thirsty and hungry and tired. Cried cuz I felt officially stripped from having a drivers license ever due to my limited vision 
. When you’re not used to something, it’s hard to adjust. And I know, this is just another process I have to go through.
⠀⠀
I’m gonna be vulnerable here.....
⠀⠀
I think today was my punishment for not scheduling an appointment with DMV when I first got my drivers license renewal in the mail.
⠀⠀
Almost 7 hours.
. No food or drinks were allowed inside. I stood the whole time because it was the only spot near a window that I didn’t feel like I was squished up against a person so I didn’t leave my spot. I used my essential oil roll on bottle to keep myself from losing my sanity and having a major meltdown.⠀⠀
That’s not the worst part- the worst part? Was that I didn’t want ANY of this.
⠀⠀
I was in denial that I wouldn’t be able to renew my drivers license since I quit driving 4 years ago. My license in my wallet made me feel like if it were ever possible to drive again I still could. Almost like a last hope or something I guess? I didn’t want JUST a CA ID. I wanted a DRIVERS LICENSE. Gah. I know I’m throwing a pity party right now but dang. This is not easy for my independent self to deal with. That’s me being real.
When I saw the man in front of me finally get called, I knew I was next. We were “buddies”. Even when we didn’t have a full on conversation, we had a mutual understanding that we were in this for the long haul.
I was pretty proud of myself for holding it together as long as I did. When I got in another line to get my photo taken, the emotions started to come and I just pushed them back. NOPE. Not yet!! My last photo on my drivers license the guy didn’t tell me he was taking the photo so I had this frumpy face and I wanted this ID to have a SMILE . So hopefully they captured it this time. I passed by my buddie, smiled, gave him a nod and wished him “Good Luck” (I mean, who doesn’t do that when getting their photo taken? LOL). Hurried outdoors and took a nice deep breath of fresh air. I'M OUT. Then I cried. Cried cuz I was finally done. Cried cuz I was so thirsty and hungry and tired. Cried cuz I felt officially stripped from having a drivers license ever due to my limited vision . When you’re not used to something, it’s hard to adjust. And I know, this is just another process I have to go through.So if you can think of me, just pray for strength and comfort. I know God always helps me
***This was from 2018 but still gets me emotional at times thinking about it***
2/07/2024
I never thought that a post from 2018 would help so many people years later. I am glad I shared this. For those reading this and can relate, you are NOT alone. Please send me an email and let me know how you are doing. You do not have to do this alone. You and I are going to be OK. *hugs*
